


Cousins

by ladygray99



Category: 30 Rock, Numb3rs
Genre: Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-14
Updated: 2011-01-14
Packaged: 2017-10-14 18:21:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/152118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladygray99/pseuds/ladygray99
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Billy is in trouble in New York and he has to turn to family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cousins

**Author's Note:**

> This came to me when I was in one of those half asleep half awake places. I blame this completely on the BF who got the box set of 30 Rock as an early Christmas present and has been marathoning it even while I've been asleep.

Billy looked at the address in his mother's semiliterate scribble. He prayed it was right because he was pretty sure he was about to pass out. He banged on the thin door and heard movement.

“Just a moment Mr. Jordan,” came a blessedly familiar and annoyingly perky voice from the other side. The door opened. “Cousin Billy!”

“Hey, Kenneth.” Billy pushed his way in. “Who's Mr. Jordan?”

“Just a friend who comes around late sometimes.”

“Friend?” Billy hurt too much to properly tease Kenneth about that. He limped over to a chair.

“Cousin Billy! You've been hurt!”

“Yeah, got myself shot. Need you too pull it out.”

“You should go to a hospital!”

Billy grit his teeth. That was one of the things he had always hated about Kenneth, he spoke like every sentence ended with an exclamation point. “Kenneth, you've been pulling bullets and buckshot out of people's asses for as long as you've been alive and your embroidery is a lot better than most doctors.”

“But at a hospital...”

“At a hospital there is documentation that can get back to my boss and since I got shot chasing someone my boss said I couldn't chase a hospital is out of the question.”

“But...”

“Kenneth, get your kit or I'll tell your mother you're eating bagels.”

Kenneth's eyes darted with fear to the half eaten bagel on his table. “It was a gift. From my neighbour. It's impolite to refuse food.”

“Kenneth, just grab your kit and something for me to drink.”

Kenneth cleared away the evil bagel first and Billy limped through the apartment's single door to find the bathroom. It was tiny, even by New York standards, but it would have to do. He stripped off his jeans trying not to jar the bandana that was plugging a hole in his thigh.

Kenneth came in with a bowl, some bottles, and some antique looking surgical tools. Since poaching was a common way for a man to feed his family in Stone Mountain the occasional tag from a shotgun or even a rifle was considered just an occupational hazard and the family member with the steadiest hands became an a very specialized surgeon.

Kenneth put the tools in a bowl and dumped rubbing alcohol on them. Then he handed a bottle to Billy. “Jesus, Kenneth! Where did you get this?” It was a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue Label.

“It was a gift from Mr. Jordon.”

“Have you learned how to deep throat or something?”

“I'm sure I don't know what you mean,” Kenneth replied primly.

Billy gave up and took a long drink, then shoved a washcloth in his mouth and closed his eyes. He felt the bandana come out first as Kenneth made little tasking noises. Then he felt the probe go in. He screamed around the cloth.

“Now just you hold on, Cousin Billy. I'll get this nasty old bullet out.” There was another flash of pain and Billy felt tears squeeze from under his eyes. His head spun and he prayed that he might just pass out. Instead there was a little plink of metal hitting the porcelain of the sink. “There we are. It wasn't even a very big one.”

Billy took a couple of breaths then braced himself for Kenneth's stitching. It didn't take long. Kenneth's stitches were still fast and tidy and his bandaging was clean.

Billy took the cloth out of his mouth and took a few more swallows of whiskey. “Thank you Kenneth, you're the best.”

“Well first, third and second twice removed cousins have to look out for each other.”

“That they do.” Billy carefully pulled his pants back on while Kenneth tidied up his tools. He'd change cloths once he got back to his motel.

“Could I offer you a late supper while you're here, Cousin Billy?”

“What have you got?

“I have some leftover squirrel meat casserole.”

Billy's stomach grumbled and lurched at the same time. “Whose recipe?”

“Great Auntie Maggie's of course. It is the best.”

Billy couldn't argue with that. “Sure Kenneth, dish up.”

Billy sat at the kitchen table and sipped supremely good whiskey while Kenneth plated two helpings of squirrel casserole. He made it a point not to ask Kenneth where he got the squirrel meat in New York because some things just were better left unknown.

“So Kenneth, how are you liking New York?”

“Oh I like it just fine.” Kenneth put the plate in front of Billy.

“Good, got lots of friends, enjoy your job?”

Kenneth grinned. “I've got lots of friends and I've got the best job in the whole wide world because I get to go to work and be with my friends every day and help them out with whatever they need.” Billy took a bite of his casserole. The great thing about Great Auntie Maggie's squirrel casserole recipe is that she made it taste nothing like squirrel. “Why I don't know what Mr. Jordan or Miss. Maroney would do with out me.” Kenneth continued wide eyed and grinning.

Billy sighed and took another sip of whiskey. “Kenneth, I have known you my entire life and I still can't figure out if you're the Second Coming or the Antichrist.”

Kenneth's grin stretched itself even wider and his eyes flashed with something that made Billy lean back a bit. “Now there Cousin Billy, I'm just a normal man like everyone else.”

“Bullshit Kenneth but I'm tired, drunk and I've been shot so for tonight I'll let it slide.”


End file.
